Emotion through rhyme.

I pushed my limits
Out of the comfort zone
Keep telling me how I rock your world
But you turned mine upside down
Instilling fear about the next move
For what?
Resisting myself
is ignoring the most important voice
I am ready to say whats on my mind
Swallowed the lines
How the promise of a new day
was coming nearer
Now I see things clearer
For the first time
Through the use of my emotions
and cleverness of my rhyme
This illusion
Caused confusion.
Its true.
Shattered the mirror
Reality beaming through

Peace of mind.

There is more than meets those eyes
If you only knew
It might seem like its over
But there's barely nothing there
I feel drained of my energy
Trapped. Gasping for some air.
Maybe there are things I'm afraid of
The roadblocks to success
Maybe if I strip myself naked
I wouldn't be damaging my health.
Peace of mind is priceless
A price im not willing to pay just yet.
In due time
A story will unfold or
One will come to an end.

The Road to Solitude.

Let me breathe.
Give me air.
Give me room.
Let me see.
In despair full of doom
Can you hear?
Wicked smiles so endearing
Horriffic sounds clearing
You cant win
Carried by the win.
The sound of sin.

Let me take you to a place
Where the earth moves at the slowest pace
Time is relative but never real
And you'll never know just how it feels.

Elevate beyond all the hatred and despair
Beyond the thickness in the air
Let go and lose your mind
Keep searching and searching and you will find
the point of tranquility and peace
An overwhelming powerless release
Feel the beat as I go
Sit back
Relax.
Let go.

Symphony of Life

I'd like to share this great piece with you, It came from an email my friend Jessie sent to me. Enjoy!

In the great symphony of life, we all have important parts to play. While some people are best suited to be conductors or soloists, their contributions would be diminished considerably without the individual musicians that lend their artistry to the fullness of an orchestra.

The magical accents of the percussion section might sound random and out of place without the music they accompany. But any one member of an orchestra, doing less than their best at their particular part, can destroy the harmony of the whole piece, such is their importance.

So although we may not receive the same amount or quality of attention as another, all of our contributions are valuable and integral to the success of the whole.

When we do our tasks well, we infuse them with our unique energy, making each act a gift. Each of our personalities and talents are suited to different roles of support. Even leaders and star performers support others in their own way. We can look around us at any moment to see that while we nurture some people with our work, others are supporting us with their gifts.

Doing any job from this place within us allows us to do our part with humility and gratitude, while also learning lessons that move us steadily toward our goals.

When we can be fully present in every job that we do, we bring the fullness of our bodies, minds and spirits to the moment. Our contribution is enhanced by the infusion of our talents and abilities, and when we give them willingly, they attract the right people and circumstances into our experience.

Anything we do begrudgingly limits the flow of our energy and closes us off from the good that is available to us in every situation. But by giving the best in us to make the world around us better, we open ourselves to receive the best from the universe in return.

A commitnent to Blog.

I began this blog as a way to keep me interested in writing and as a way to keep me writing on a consistent basis. I know that I have a talent for putting things into words, especially in rhyme. However, like most people, I suffer from the fear of failure/success, insecurity, and lack of discipline, who never follow their talents/pursue their dreams. For once, I am commit to writing at least twice a week on this blog, and whether anyone reads it, if my writing sucks, I will feel better knowing that I followed through on this commitment. So happy reading everyone!


Signed...... ME

Childhood Scars.

There are certain fears that you may be born with or are nurtured from certain needs not being met when you were a child. I often wonder about certain feelings that have not gone away from childhood. Although I have grown past most of it, there still remains those tiny doses of insecurity,being inadequate and a need to please. The following will provide certain examples and will shed light on the subject.

When I was a child, I was subjected to ridicule and cruelty, especially at school. It was like a wore a big sign that said, "Make fun of Erika, Take a Stab." Why you ask? I don't know. Perhaps, it was that I was too naive and thought everyone was my friend, I wasn't "cool enough" in conjunction with those mean girls in school. I was also the youngest of five children through my dad, and of two within my household. So here I have a established the certain elements that have added the "fuel" to the fire.

In elementary school, I had a hard time making and maintaining friends. The "friends" I had, I tried so hard to be nice to them, and just to be accepted. Because there were predominantly white people in my small neighborhood and school, people would refer to me as "Puerto Rican pisspail." Because I had long hair, there were certain times that I had my hair pulled so hard that I would end up on my knees. In one particular instance, my hair was used as a handle and my head was hit against the bricks of my school.

So from an early age, it was established that mean people existed in the world. My grandmother would tell me, "it's because they are jealous of you." What eight year old is going to believe that? However, in hindsight, she was right. Little Erika just kept on being nice to people who did not appreciate her. I am fortunate enough now to still have a friendship with my oldest friend.

Fast forward to high school. A girl gets her eyebrows waxed and it makes all the difference! All of a sudden she has a false sense of security, and people are beginning to notice her! There are boys who like her! A bigger school, more people who aren't just from Bayside, but from all over Queens. I went through friends like it was nobody's business, and one particular clique I had, at the end of high school would completely be cut off from me. The individual friendships I had would be so on and off. I had one best friend that would remain with me until freshman year of college.

I was a concoction of emotions during my teenage years. My grandmother who raised me had passed away, and I was so angry over many things. When I would cry, I would scream. I walked around like everyone was out to get me, and there was only a certain threshold of pain that I could take. I fought with my family very often.

Fast forward to the present. Okay, so I have set the backdrop without getting into too much detail as to why certain feelings have remained with me. When I reflect on my childhood, I try to see all the fun I used to have. But, there are scars that have remained with me. I am now sensitive to certain people's criticisms and judgements, and many people may think I am still defensive. I know that I have grown up tremendously and have acquired strength and insight because of it.

There are still moments when I try too hard to please other people, going out of my way for people who wouldn't reciprocate or for people who frankly, just do not deserve it. But I guess that is just my nature. I have a forgiving heart, but many people in the world do not, especially those who have crossed my path. My circle of friends has gotten smaller and I just try to stick with those who appreciate me for who I am, which these days those who know me best, is my family.

"Unchanged"

This is a song I wrote when I was sixteen and thought that with a little work it has some potential.

The moment our eyes met I just knew
that you'd take way my cynical views
You'd mend the broken pieces of my heart
Just me and you a brand new start
When I look into your eyes
Now I realize
You're all I need
Just you and me baby

You're the eyes to my soul
With you I lose my self control
and after all this time it stayed the same
Baby, our love remains unchanged

Your love provides a certain peace
An overwhelming, powerless release
The years have come and gone
Yet I wonder if you're the one

The more and more we've grown together
The love from you has become a treasure
Are we meant to be together?
Will you stay and love me forever?
Baby we're made for each other
I promise to never love another


You're the eyes to my soul
With you I lose my self control
and after all this time it stayed the same
Baby, our love remains unchanged

All the times I felt alone
I'd cry alone at home
Could never sleep at peace
Would sleep wake up and weep
Til the day you came along
You came along and I was strong
When I looked into your eyes
They had me mesmerized

The time we had apart
we stayed so close at heart
You capture my soul
Make me lose all control
I'll never feel the pain
Despite it all our love remains unchanged.